I don't want you saying anything to B.B. Hood while I'm gone. She never finished her period you know.

For 5 minutes can't I rest without her dragging a muffin on the new carpet??!?!?!

I swear if you tell Mom that I had an affair with Nancy Cartwright I'll do it!

Now drive me to the mall mom!

How could we lick the time?

One day on facebook:

(Note: The one with the better grammar is me and yes the convo begins with your ugly out of freaking nowhere)

ur UGLY
BYE· 5:36pmWhat the hellReport · 5:36pmbyeReport · 5:36pmThe fuck was that for?Report · 5:37pmidk
BYEReport · 5:37pmyou don't know
REALLY?
Yeah appear out of nowhere and tell me I'm ugly

Sure TOTALLY makes senseReport ·
5:37pm
YEP IT DOES
AND BY UR PICTURE ·

5:37pm
I barely even know you
Jesus kid..
.
What crawled up your ass today?

Report · 5:38pmSHUT THE FUCK UP

5:38pmNo

I wanna know what the hell I did to piss you off
Wait...
Unless

5:38pmBC U URReport · 5:38pmThis CAN'T be youReport · 5:39pm
IT IS DUMBTARD

5:39pmSome bitch probably hacked your account

5:39pm

SHURE Report ·
5:39pm

Look I dont give a flying fuck that Im uglyReport ·
5:39pm

IT IS MEReport ·
5:39pm

No WHAT THE FUCK IS THE REASON FOR Report ·
5:39pm

BC U R
BC U RReport · 5:39pmI KNOW Report · 5:40pmHAHHAReport ·
5:40pmBut for gods
But for gods sake what did I do for you
To*

· 5:40pmJK Report · 5:40pm...Report · 5:40pm

UR NOT UGLY

Report · 5:40pm...Report · 5:40pmBYEReport · 5:40pmLOh why...wait
Ah almost walked into that one

Report · 5:40pm
HA YEH U DID LOLReport ·
5:41pmYou act like you just got shat on
Report ·
5:41pmFUCK U Report ·

5:41pmWell fuck you too
If that makes you feel any better
Fucking cunt

5:42pmKK WELL U WILL GET FUCKED HARD JUST LIKE UR UGLY FACE
THT WAIT I THOUGHT HOREReport ·
5:43pmActually your equally as ugly as I am
According to your pics
ahaha
seriously wtf
A little shithead like you?
Give me a break
Report ·
5:43pmBUT AT LEAST I HAVE A BF
5:44pmBig fucking woop you wanna cookie for that achievement?
5:44pmYEP
LIKE U HAD A GF EVER IN UR LIFE
Report · 5:44pmActually I haf
haveReport · 5:44pm1
WOWReport · 5:44pm2Report · 5:45pm
2 WOW I HAD 10Report · 5:45pmcough whoreReport · 5:45pmYEH U HAVE DONE IT WITH A GIRL\Report · 5:45pmNo.
But bascially every girl
I had is like a sign saying there is hope for meReport · 5:45pmEW
HORE
BITCH FUCK U DIE TO HELL
Report · 5:46pmAt least decent enough to fuck
5:46pmSHURE LIKE 6 GUYS ASKED ME TO DO IT WITH THEMReport ·
5:46pmYou best be trollin'Report ·
5:47pmTHT UReport · 5:47pmno uReport · 5:47pm

shure
bye

5:47pm
Good riddance to you as well you dirty ass cuntReport · 5:47pmbye
die to hell like ur mother willReport · 5

:48pmMY MOMS DEAD YOU HEARTLESS BITCH

5:49pmwell u will die JUST LIKE HER THEN HORE COUNT FUCK U

5:49pmActually I lied about that
Anyway good ridance to you too sweety ^_^

5:49pmWELL I HOPE SJE DIES
SWEETY DONT CALL ME THT

EW Report · 5:50pmSWEETY SWEETY SWEETY SWEETY SWEETY SWEETY SWEETY SWEETY

XDReport · 5:50pmI HAVE A BF HE CAN BEAT UR ASSReport · 5:51pmSeriously why are we still talking
I mean omg this is fucking hilarious

· 5:51pmBC U R UGLYReport · 5:52pmI heard you the first gazillion times

Check the stearing wheel for pocket change.

More then 16 brand new reviews just for my honey kisame <3

.Blues Bros. Review

Based on the classic SNL skit of the awesome duo John Belushi and Dan Akroyd they finally get there shot on the big screen! After gettinng out of Jail Jake reunites the band to save their hometown!

But they have lots of people who want them dead. The cops, Some crazy bitch who tries to kill them at every turn, and even Nazis! That's right Nazis!

What really was the highlight was not the Epic chase scene at the end or the car falling from the sky no it was the catchy, energetic and fast paced music and dance scenes! Hell, even I felt like dancing a bit <3

Not to mention you got cameos by Aeretha Franklin, Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, and Carrie Fishers gad fucking zooks!

That all said this is one hell of an enjoyable movie from start to finish I definetly reccomend you watch this with your friends.

PERFECT 10/10

Oh and btw I could have SWORN I saw these guys in Earthbound. I think they were called the runaway 5 and I tell ya the blues bros. were DEFINETLY in there.

Heck I think they had a brief appearnece in Smash Bros. Melee's intro

Scott Pilgrim vs. the world Remastered review

Based on the underground graphic Novel Scott Pilgrim played by a for once likeable Michael Cera hasn't had a girlfriend in a year he dates a highschool girl (he's 23) and his roomatesmake fun of him. Also not to mention he's in a crappy band with an awesome name called Sex Bob-omb.

He meets the girl of his Dreams Ramona Flowers and they start to date all is good until he has to defeat her seven EVIL exes to continue dating. Will he succeed? Find out yourself!

This movie was very underplayed at the box office but it was awesome. Truly one of the rare movies where you watch and nerd out pakced with refrences to Street Fighter, Mario, Zelda, and is told in a Comic book like fashion.

If you haven't read the book or seen this movie and LOVE video games and pop culture media RENT THIS SHIT!! You won't regret it!

8/10!

Lord of the rings: Fellowship of the Ring Reivew

n amazing Epic adventure based on Tolkens critically aclaimed fantasy series. Now, before I begin those who actually READ the book will be pleased to know that they got in just about every detail Tolken described in his own world and let me tell ya it transitioned to the big screen EXTREMELY well. Everything, from the backgrounds to the characters EVERYTHING. And that is a hard thing to do so credit to the cast behind this.

So storyline is commonly known: An evil Ring that posseses any one in it's presence like an Anti-Triforce

Oh that reminds me see how much "inspiration" you can find to the Zelda games.

Anyway it's got everything you need Intense action scenes, amazing special effects, Good acting from Elija wood and Orlando Bloom, Well deserving Oscars nominations and wins, And the like.

Also, it's noted this is likely the ONLY movie with that Power of Friendship crap actually works. It's a word called subtlety you know not shoving it down our throats (Looking at you Sonic Heroes)

So that said I have been DYING to put this on the full movie list because it is so deserving for it. That said I'm proud to give it PERFRCT 10/10

Megamind theme

Surprisingly good!

When I first saw the trailer I was like ah brother this is just going to be just another generic 3D movie by Dreamworks trying to copy Disney and add in a bunch of unfunny shit and Cast Will Farrel (Who I love) in a bland performance

I was wrong this was actually really clevaer and entertaining.

Bassically it's Will Farrel as Megamind and Brad Pitt as Metro man. Metroman and Megamind is always showing off there skills but unfortunate the laws of Brad Pittsay that you can't beat him

So Megamind ( Y'know I always end up almost typing Megaman for some reason dammit Capcom!) notices he's good at being evil so he turns to the dark side

BUT it's got a lot of twists and turns Megamind finally Defeats Metro Man and rules the world.

But then gets bored of it. Wow, who saw that coming? Then again when your an evil genius what do you do once you actually succeeded.

So then Megamind creates a HERO out of Metromans DNA with Tina Feys partner played By Jonah Hill (Seriously this is like the 2nd Dreamworks film! Do they think fat loud obnoxious guys count as funny?) but he ends up being the bad guy THEN it turns out Metro Man DIDN'T Die and well now I spoiled the movie.( Kinda pulled a Chester A.Bum There huh)

So yeah that said this was surprisingly better then I thought a little too similar to Despicable me and also tends to make fun of a lot of superhero movie cliches but never the less it was fun.

7/10

E.T. Review

Okay, this movie I'm sure 95% of you have seen once in there childhood....I did not actually.

So yeah, it seems a lot of people grew up with this movie and it's pretty obvious why we all love it... Well E.T of course duh! And you also got a young Drew Barrymore as the sister and of course Eliot.

So after Crash Landing on Earth Eliot takes E.T under his wing and of course becomes BFF awwww :) and theres the widely known scene with the bike and the moon and don't forget "E.T phone home!" . But then these evil Sceintists do Experiments on Poor E.T which from a kids point of view always gets them in tears.

To This day it still has stood the Test of time. It's just a Heartwarming movie for all ages and will forever be remembered.

8/10

Mars Attacks review:

A cult comedy classic directed by Tim Burton that parodies all those cheesey 1950's sci fi movies. Actually, the poster was what really made me thought this was going to be one of those movies but instead I found out it was a parody. Kudos to the man who drew that.

So yeah, you got the typical cliche cast Jack Nicholson as the President. The obnoxious billionare, The trailer park people, the dumb bitch, and of course the creepy CG Aliens who only know to destroy. And they attempt to reason with them....but they NEVER learn. And this ultimately leads to the downfall.

If you liked cult sci fi movies or stuff like Mystery Science theater 3000 or hell it has an Ed Wood like feel to it. Definetly give this movie a check out.

7/10

Indiana Jones Temple of Doom Review:

Considered to be the stupidest installment in thes series. But that doesn't mean it was TERRIBLE. So yeah Indiana Jones is out to save an enslaved vilage somewhere near India.

He's accompinied by that adorable asian kid from The Goonies and what I hear some bitch played by the director.

No seriously the girl screams at the stupidest things and pretty much whines through out the whole adventure.

Also EASTER EGG TIME: The club in the beginning is called Club Obi-Wan! Sound familiar?

But despite that it was still a thrilling adventure just like it's predecessor. Just not as a good.

7/10

8 mile review

movie based on Eminem's troubled life and the shit he put up with. An alcohaulic mom and her abusive Boyfirend, Keeping his younger sister safe, getting jumped, rapping yeah it wasn't easy for this guy

Indeed this is a very powerful and moving film. Now, Personally I think Eminem isn't that bad of a rapper (well at least he had a few good hits back in the day but I'm no expert on the shit)

So yeah his name in the movie is Jimmy aka Bunny Rabbit because he fucks like one. hell they even show it in one scene just banging his girlfriend.

Theres also one scene which really shocked me when Jimmy got brutally beaten in front of his own sister. Very sad indeed.

As far as the movie goes the characters are brutal and unforgiving and the atmosphere is a total shithole. Really captures all the elements in this kind of a movie.

That said I really liked this movie a lot

Predetor review:

A mediocore ripoff of Alien IMO. Yes Yes I know I'm gonna get a lot of hate for this but I just honestly didn't care for it. The characters where bland the action didn't dazzle me,

Basiclly the story is that a group of soilders are unkowningly being watched in the middle of the jungle far from civilizartion

I don't know I guess the movie just hasn't aged well over time. But to the movies credit it's got freakin' Schwarzzenegger in it and you can't go wrong with him and his one liners like "GET TO DEH CHOPPA"

Or "You one ugly Motherfucker"

So yeah sorry guys but I just thought it was okay.

5/10

300 Review:

A ma- HEY HEY Shut up don't you DARE spew out that old outdated meme or I'll rape with with a Wii remote.... Good? K.

A masterpiece beyond epic proportions! What? That made no sense? Shut up and listen! Anyway yes it's an epic film based off an epic graphic novel from the guy who did Sin City (and don't worry we'll be getting to him soon) Telling of war, greed, corruption, power and of course Abs abs abs and more abs.

The stunning cinemetogrophy (fine Julie go ahead and say the whole "THIS IS SPARTA" song and dance)

Memorable quotes. Sexy chicks and loads more then you can shake a stick at.

In closing this is a movie that I should've watched AGES ago.

9/10!

Toxic Avenger Review:

A fucked up blood bath cult classic comedy from the 1980's about a hellhole filled town of crazy jackasses where running over kids for was a form of entertainmen, robbing taco stores and shooting dogs is acceptable

And where is this place? Why New Jersey of course!

Yes that's right meet Melvin played by Mark Torgl a gullible and unatrctive nerd who everyone tosses him around and goes about unaware.

One day he falls into Toxic waste by accident and I think we all know what happens. HE FIGHTS CRIME.

And takes down the corrupt mayor (Who I swear looks like Chris Christie Ironically)

Like I said this movie is a BLOOD bath people getting shot, the characters are psychopaths, and of course The Toxic avenger the awesome guy of the movie and such.

Now, believe it or not I had no idea this was spawend off a movie and compared to it sorta is faithfull but very watered down with what the musical but thats not to say it was good

It's still on Netflix so definetly check it out.

6.5/10

Due Date Review

A snooty business guy played by Robert Downey Jr is heading home to see his wife give brith while meeting the beard guy from The Hangover Zach Galinafamkus or whatever turns into a series of crazy events. He ends up forced to have him drive ALL the way to hollywood with the obnixious berarded idiot and all sorts of funny stuff happens.

He unintentionally badmouths a war veteran and gets beaten up, The intro is him talking in bed to a blue tooth yeah THIS is comedy.

Maybe not HILARIOUS funny but never the less a fun comedic adventure.

7/10!

Mario and Luigi Superstar Saga Review

Yes Yes I know another Video Game review but this game is TOTALLY suitable for Comedy month because this game is hysterical.

One day in the Mushroom Kingdom Princess Peach is expecting a gift from the sister kingdom The BeanBean Kingdom. Unkown to her it turns out the EVIL Cackletta and her cooky assistant Fawful to steal her voice to awaken the bean star... and replace it with EXPLOSIVES!!

Fun Fact: I saw the story line explained in a book and I always thought wait what?

Anyway Bowser of course gets involved and Toad gets Mario and Luigi (Mario inconviently taking a shower) And they rush to the castle.

They Team up with Bowser and put an end to Cacklettas diabolical Plan.

Wow, this game is like Super Mario RPG added with 10 gallons of the Looney Toons formula. Mario hitting Luigi with a hammer. Priceless facial expressions from the bros. wacky moves and Luigi getting abused (poor guy)

This is one of the GBAs best titles with so much to do explore and level up. Definetly buy this now!

9.5/10

Cat on a hot tin roof review dedicated to the late Elizabeth Taylor:

Wow, what a spectacular movie...Actually By spectacular I mean the acting. I mean these people REALLY know how to act it sounded almost convincing enough that its actually happening. Basically Brick (Paul Newman)an alcohaulic Football player doesnt give a shit anymore about anything even his wife Maggie (played by a stunning Elizabeth Taylor) her rich father is dying of cancer acting like a jerk and all brick wanted was to be accepted and learns the whole Money can't buy love and happiness song and dance.

The movie can get a bit boring at times but if you focus on the acting you'll really appreciate it the whole way through.

9.5/10

The Life Aquatic of Steve Zissou Review
A quirky comedy with Bill Murray as Steve Zissou. An oceanographer/film maker that swears revenge on the shark that killed one of his crew mates.

Rounding up a crew with Cate Blanchet a few interns, a Portugese guy with a guitar, Jeff Goldblum (...), and a dog, they set sail to the sea!

It's got everything you want Pirates (awesome awesome), a pregnant woman that Steve has his eyes on, VERY subtle humor, and lots more all in this film

Actually that part about the subtle humor something to keep in mind in order to enjoy this.

That said I give it a 7/10

It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad world Review:

A spectacular goose chase Directed by Stanley Kramer (Also Know for Guess who's coming to dinner) consisting of an All Star comedian cast to big to count racing to claim $35k from a deceased thief. You got the nagging Mother and law who's contantly bitching through out the entire movie, The fat clumsy guy, British Guy, Insane guy who dances to weird ass music, I can't even keep track of them!

Lets just go by the tagline "Everyone who was funny in 1963 is in this movie"

This movie is one of the definitions of Comedy, Slap Stick, Subtlety, Over the top, you name it.

The Characters do tend to get obnoxious at times but not to spoil the end don't worry the bitchy woman gets what's coming ;)

If you seen the Modern day equivelent Rat Race this ones hella lot more enjoyable

If your a fan of nostalgic comedy this is a must watch!

PERFECT 10/10!

***WEGRA APPROVED***

Shin Chan Review

An OUTRAGEOUSLY funny anime comedy consisting of a rude 5 year old boy with a trademark Ass Dance that's always getting into trouble.

Now, I know not many of you are into Anime but I can safely say that it's Americanized...BUT DONE RIGHT.

The mention all kinds of Pop culture refrences (not every five seconds of course) actually now that I think of it it's kinda of making fun of us!

What stands out from the show the most is the crude animation style. I mean what the heck? it looks like it was drawn by a little kid.

Anyway It took only one episode and Laughed my ass off hard within 10 minutes (which hasnt happened in almost 2 years) There are some hilarious quotes like " TO BE A MAN YOU MUST HAVE HONOR HONOR AND A PEEEEENIS" And " ACTION BASTARD BASTARD BEEEM!"

Seriously I LOVE this anime. Even if your not into it check it out anyway.

9.5/10

Just fucking yes.

I need 473 pounds of meat to get that bug out of her chest.